'All Out Of Love' by Air Supply

Ha ha. Like my friends, I am at last writing about my dream.

I had the dream about a week ago.
It was about me shooting myself in the head.
I died. But that wasn't the end of the dream.
After I died, I met somebody I never met before.
But I felt like I knew him.

He said "Wow."
"You committed suicide. No way you're going to heaven."
"You have to go back to Earth. You're going to have to be reborn."
"But for a dead man to come back to life...."
"It's going to be painful."

After that I found myself standing in a corridor. Quite a wide one.
I walked through the corridor. I knew I had to.
At the end, I came to a door. I opened the door.

Then I woke up.

What does that mean? I don't know.

But two days later my grandpa died.

Coincidence? Fate? Does it even have a connection?
Who the heck knows?

What I know is my grandpa died.
Right before the results of the test came out.
Guess what? I got accepted. Phew.

This was really something for me.
You see, I was not very close with my grandpa.
I can only remember two moments with him.
One was when I was 7 years old.
He would pick me up from school every Friday.
Then we would go to the post office.
He would bought me a slice of pizza from a vendor at the door.
And I can't remember whether I ever thanked him or not.

The other was when I was a bit older.
Me and my cousins were playing a round of minigolf.
He was watching.
At a particular hole, I made mistakes. I got impatient.
It took me 7 strokes to get the ball in. I was kind of mad.
He was a bit cross too.
"Fool," he said. (Well maybe not that harsh, but that's what I remember.)

In short, I always kind of thought of myself as a disappointment to him.
I mean, really, I wasted my time at school.
At home, I never study. I am not a very decent person, too.
I stole things. I cheated. I blasphemed.
All these years, I always felt like I am unworthy of becoming the man's grandson.

But the night my grandpa died, my grandma suddenly said this.
"Yes, he was never disappointed in his children. He was proud of you all."
"His grandchildren too. No one was a disappointment."
Later she said to me what he said a few days before.
"He said, 'Yes, of course he will get accepted.'"
"He always knew it."
"He had no doubts about you."

Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
It seems that, in his eyes,
I am not such a wretch like I thought after all.
Suddenly a MASSIVE burden was lifted from my mind.
Suddenly I was able to think good of myself.
Suddenly I had a kind of a new purpose in my life.

Life... is MAGNIFICENT.