"What's the situation, Captain?"

I don't know what I'm feeling right now, friends.

Is this grief?
Fear?
Pain?
Or simple, plain, pure stupidity?

I don't know what to do.
What I have done, what I am doing, what I will do.

Is this life?
Why is it so?

Hast Thou forsaken me, Lord?
Why am I becoming this way?

Every night, I lay down to sleep in the hope that I will not wake.
Every day, I wake wishing that today will be my last day.

It is not the night I fear.
I can get through the night fine.
It is the morning I dread.

The things I have to do....
The things I have done....
The things I should have done....

Really.
I really wish I could die real soon, Lord.