Yeaaaahahahahahaha!!!
As usual, another reasonless laugh. (Is that right? 'Reasonless'? I'm not fully confident that that's the word, but still, better than 'unreasonable'.)
My mind is very chaotic nowadays, guys. Even more so than it used to be.
It seems that I don't know where to go.
I mean, if you can only see me in class, I think you'd understand.
What do I do in class? Sleep. Honestly. Or, draw things. Or perhaps read a book not related to the class. Very rarely do I actually pay attention to what the lecturer is saying.
Is that a waste of time?
Some, perhaps most of you would definitely say so.
Of course it is a waste of time. It's so obvious.
Is it really?
Somehow, this twisted mind of mine does NOT see it as time-wasting.
I suppose I have started to ask myself "What, really, is your goal in this life? What is your bloody target?"
What was my answer?
"I don't know. What I know is, now I HATE studying."
Some of you who have known me previously might be surprised. I know, I used to like studying.
At least that's the way it seemed.
Actually, I don't like studying. I like to learn. But I don't like to study.
Once, in my younger years, those two words were (nearly) synonymous.
In elementary school. I love learning about new things. School was FUN.
Junior high, things got a bit rougher, but I could manage. At least school was interesting.
Senior high, I began to lose interest. I began to feel that science (which is what I study, mostly) is no longer expanding my horizon, so to say.
At college, well, you know.
Most people, including some of my best friends and especially my parents, will probably say that I am wrong about this. That I should like studying these things, and if not, to study them anyway.
I disagree.
Why, pray tell, should I stick to do things that I don't like?
Or, perhaps an easier question to answer, what benefits, if any, will they bring?
"If you study well, you would graduate with top grades, and that means a better job with a better salary. Then, after you get all that, you can do what you want, since you will have all you need."
HA!
This sort of argument has been around since long ago.
The idea is that after you get more money (or respect or other things which are generally considered worthy and valuable) than you need, then you can start enjoying your life.
That when you have reached a certain point, you shouldn't feel satisfied, and you should try to expand or improve.
Right? Dissatisfaction is what makes the present world go around, right? What induces progress?
This, I think, is a really stupid idea.
"You should not be happy with 'just this'. You should want more."
Then when will we be happy?
Tomorrow? Next month? After I graduate? When I have more money than I would ever need?
Why not now?
