Okay, hello everybody.
It is my birthday. Honestly. At least it is now, perhaps it no longer will be by the time I'm done writing.
And this turned to be one of the most truly pleasant days for me in the last... I don't know, really. In any case, this is a rare day, at least in terms of my general pleasure.
I'll tell you what I got/did/experienced today.
First, I received quite a lot of birthday congratulations, from family and friends. And it was around noon. That was quite unexpected. But it made me happy. Happier than I normally would be around 1 PM, so, it's definitely something. Thanks a lot, guys. Really. That was not sarcasm. If this were the TV series Spartacus (any of its derivatives) I would have said "Gratitude."
Secondly, I went shopping for books at Kinokuniya, the one in Pondok Indah Mall. Granted, not as spacious or well-stocked as the one in Plaza Senayan, but still very delightful. I procured two books: And Another Thing, which is the last book in the Douglas Adams' series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, written by Mr. Eoin Colfer posing as Mr. Adams (and for some reason, one of the opening quotes was from the Tenacious D movie, so, another fun surprise); and Thief of Time, a Discworld book written by Mr. Terry Pratchett. I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but I expect highly of Mr. Pratchett, and he has never failed me yet, so yeah, hopes are high..
Third, I saw the new Spider-Man reboot. A bit late, I know, but it's nice, watching movies in a half-full or perhaps even quarter-full theater. Had a box of popcorn and a cup of blended chocolate rum. Delicious. And the movie itself did not disappoint. Perhaps I'll write some of the things that occurred to me during the movie, but later. But I'll say this: although The Lizard is considerably better-looking than those action figures based on him, and despite the lack of any offensive, um, appendages, it's a pity that he is more often nude than not.
So yes, this was a happy day for me.
But no, of course I won't stop there. I had to realize something about myself.
Which is:
I am happiest when I am alone.
I was alone today. Buying the ticket, browsing, paying for and reading the books, having lunch (noodles with dumplings, thanks for asking), watching the movie, I did all that alone. By myself. Without company. Solo.
And I loved it.
When I was alone, I was free. I could go where I wanted. I could do as I please. I could be whatever I want to be. I could pretend to have a limp, I could hit on cashiers (yeah, I do that when I'm alone), I could terrify young children simply by looking at them.
When I was alone, people didn't know me. I was anonymous. Invisible. A blank page. An unshaped lump of clay.
Newborn.
Unbound, untethered, unencumbered, unknown, today I experienced freedom. Total freedom, complete freedom. Not one of those 'substantial freedom' of Hegel's, but to be able to act without fear of any consequence.
...But then, what about those birthday congratulations? Wasn't I also happy when I read those?
Yes, I was.
Okay, I made up my mind.
I shall from now on strive to live without bonds, without attachments, save the ones I willingly and happily make.
And I'll laugh more often. I like laughing.
