Finally, some peace. A teeny tiny itty bitty eensy weensy bit of peace.

Huh akhirnya itu formulir gw kumpulin juga. Hehe. Tadi pagi gw ambil dari sekolah, gw bawa ke Depdiknas, minta stempel apa gitu, trus gw bawa ke Singapore Embassy. Selesai deh. Urusan beginian gw emang paling males. Tapi, cihui lah. All that nagging from my mom will finaly end.

About the scholarship itself, well, I don't really care about the results. Really. The thing I want most from that scholarship is for my essay to be read by people in the education department.

Wanna read the essay? The deadline's today anyway.

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I have a certain experience that I want to write here. Once, after a particularly simple and interesting class, my chemistry teacher said, “Now isn’t chemistry fun and interesting?” I answered him, “Every lesson would be fun if only we don’t have to have exams about them.” That comment received laughter from nearly every student in the class. Even the teacher chuckled. But then he continued, “Well what’s the point of studying if you don’t get tested for it?”

That particular remark from the teacher got me thinking. What IS the point? After some thought, I came to a conclusion that all this time, we had it backwards. (By ‘we’ I mean ‘the people I know’) ‘We’ study materials to pass the test. That, I think, is not the real purpose of studying. What is? Well, to learn new things! To expand our knowledge! To make life more interesting! To open up new possibilities for the future! Not just to answer some questions some older people, those so-called ‘experts,’ put up together.

After all that, I continued thinking. Maybe that is why I am not too excited about studying in school. Or even end-of-term exams, for that matter. ‘We’ need some revolution. Now, at our school, nearly all ‘we’ do is rehearsing on previous question papers and trying to figure out ‘what will come up in the exam,’ instead of doing something new or inventive or exciting or fun. I think that is not what education is all about. I suppose that is why, when starting school, an elementary student feels excited. He thinks that he will learn new things, and have fun doing it. Well, by a few years he would start getting bored. He would start falling behind in his ‘studies.’ At least that was what happened to me. Yes, if you compare me to other students, you will find me one of the lazy sorts. A ‘slacker,’ if you will. Am I a stupid student? Maybe I am, maybe I am not. But I do not really care what people think of me.

Why am I writing all this? Partly because I myself am wondering “Why have I fallen behind at school?” I think I am writing this because I want to do better at school. I really do. Everyone does. I just wonder if there was any reason for my decreasing scores, any other reason than simply “You’re not studying hard enough!” And the answer I came to is another question. “Why the heck are you studying?”

I would really like to study the right way so that what I learn can really be useful to me, at least. This is what I have been searching for quite a long time. That does not mean I now have better grades. What I would really like to do is read books, interesting ones, about things that capture my interests. That way I can have fun studying. But I cannot do it right now. I still have some attachments. I still respect my parents, and I think they will not be too happy seeing me doing that.
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Kalo diliat, isinya kira-kira kayak post gw yang sebelomnya. Bener kok. Cuma dijabarin aja kan? Hehe. Ini yang gw harap bakal dibaca serius sama orang-orang sana. Gw betul-betul berpikir kalo masalah 'kenapa kita belajar' itu serius banget, sampe-sampe gw bikin 2 post berturutan tentang hal ini.

HAHA! Tapi, yah, gw juga ga peduli banget sih! Kalo lo pada menanggapi dengan positif, makasih, kalo engga suka ya silakan!

Saying 'screw you guys, I'm going home' is not as easy as Cartman made it look. Especially to your parents.

Saya benci mengisi formulir. Benci banget. Apalagi kalo isinya tentang sekolah.

Misalnya, gw ada satu formulir tentang Singapore Scholarship bla bla bla gitu. Deadline-nya kayaknya udah lewat. Gw belom ngisi. KAKAKAKAKAKAKA

Trus tadi di sekolah gw liat ada temen sekelas gw bawa formulir ITB gitu. Yah karena gw disuruh bonyok cari tau tentang universitas, ya gw liat aja. Dan gw kaget karena isinya buletan-buletan berisi karakter yang mengingatkan gw pada dua kata: Netis Media. Sompret. Ini udah formulir, harus ngitemin buletan lagi. Males banget dah gw.

Kalo liat di paragraf sebelomnya, ada tulisan tentang gw DISURUH bonyok nyari info untuk pendidikan gw selanjutnya. Betulan, gw kalo engga disuruh pasti males. Biasanya bonyok yang tau duluan soal begituan. Padahal anak sekelas udah pada sibuk ikutan bimbel lah, SIMAK UI lah, tryout segala macem lah, tes skolastik lah (BTW bagi lo-lo yang nilainya bagus selamet yak). Gw kalo dibandingin sama mereka kayak apa ya? Ganggang ijo kali ya?

Tapi gw rasa itu bukan sekedar karena gw males. Gw rasa ada alasan yang agak lebih mendalam dan menjiwa dari itu. Salah satunya, gw berpendapat kalo mungkin gw gak usah ngelanjutin pendidikan formal. Maksudnya, gw bisa kan beli buku tentang hal-hal yang pengen gw pelajarin, trus baca sendiri? Kalo engga ngerti kan tinggal tanya yang ngerti. Bedanya sama kalo kuliah apaan coba? Palingan juga cuman engga punya gelar S1. Tapi masalahnya sekarang kayaknya kebanyakan orang kuliah buat dapet gelar, bukan buat memperdalam pengetahuan. Sama kayak anak sekolah yang belajar biar bisa lulus ujian, bukan buat mengetahui sesuatu yang baru. Ini yang menurut gw engga bener. Ini yang bikin gw males belajar. Guru juga kebanyakan ngajarnya gitu, cara-cara buat lulus ujian. Sedikit guru yang gw tau yang ngajar untuk memperluas wawasan. Serius deh.

Itu pendapat gw. Yang jadi masalah itu pendapat bonyok gw. Bilangnya 'mau jadi apa lo nanti kalo engga punya gelar?!' (Beneran. Bokap gw sering manggil anaknya dengan 'lo.') Dan gw emang masih merasa terikat sama mereka. Bukan maksudnya bergantung lho. Gw sih ngerasa gw oke-oke aja kalo gw idup di hutan, nyari makan dengan berburu ato metikin buah. Yang keberatan bonyok gw. Mana mau mereka punya anak orang liar. Itu maksudnya keterikatan gw sama keluarga gw.

Mungkin asyik juga ya bisa hidup tanpa ikatan sama sekali. Kayak si Yesus sama si Siddartha.

Kerupuk is getting kinda lonely....

Anjrit.

Gw denger lagu 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas' di radio.

Setiap natal pasti ada lagu ini. Dan setiap gw denger lagu ini, terutama pas bagian "faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more," pasti, sekali lagi, PASTI keinget ama itu perempuan satu. Bukan cewe gw, gw kaga punya cewe. Tapi entah kenapa keinget aja. Yah mungkin perasaan gw terhadap dia rada-rada beda dibanding terhadap orang lain. Sial. Gw sebenernya ga mau punya keterikatan, tapi entah kenapa yang satu ini bikin agak seneng. Biarpun engga (paling engga belom) ada niat untuk mendekat, tapi kebayaaang aja terus itu cewek. Pernah waktu itu gw agak 'menyatakan perasaan.' Bukan nembak lho. Betulan, gw males banget nembak. But I can't keep her outta my head! Gwaaaah!

Yah tapi sekarang gw inget salah satu episode South Park yang judulnya 'Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics' (yah kira-kira sih, ga apal). Di episode itu ada salah seorang tokoh nyanyi 'Merry F**king Christmas' dan gw ketawa abis.

Paling engga sekarang gw ga se-emo tadi. Thank you South Park.

Dream On

Sorry atas entry yang terakhir kalo aneh. Waktu itu udah malem, trus birnya....

Okay I'm back. Here to put a little of myself onto this page. Maybe I cannot explain myself very well, so please ask and debate me if you like.

Gw lebih suka baca/nonton fiksi daripada nonfiksi. Kalo dipikir sekilas aneh kan. "Ngapain fiksi, kaga nyata kok!" Kakek gw bilang gitu, katanya tiap nonton bioskop kita itu dibohongin. Tapi kalo diliat lebih lanjut, mungkin fiksi itu bisa diliat sebagai lebih nyata daripada nonfiksi.

Pernah nonton The Matrix? Itu film sci-fi, dan seperti banyak film sci-fi yang gw tonton, mengandung unsur filsafat yang engga sedikit. Di film itu ada pertanyaan, "Pernah gak lo bangun tidur dari mimpi, terus bingung mana yang mimpi mana yang beneran?" Setelah gw pikir-pikir lagi, kayaknya gw ga bisa mastiin apakah gw mimpi ato bangun. Ini adalah salah satu pemikirannya Rene Descartes (yang nemuin bidang Cartesius itu lho). Gimana caranya bisa yakin kalo apa yang kita alami itu beneran terjadi, kalo indera kita bisa dimanipulasi kayak waktu mimpi?

Ada sih yang bisa diyakini, yaitu bahwa gw itu ada, nyata. Buktinya? Gw lagi mikirin ini. Gw sadar kalo gw yang berpikir ini. Yang mengarah pada kesimpulan Descartes, yaitu 'Cogito, ergo sum.' Saya berpikir, maka saya ada.

Apa hubungannya sama argumen tentang fiksi-nonfiksi di atas? Gini. Kalo nonfiksi, kita liat dunia luar. Kita menerima rangsang dari luar. Tapi indera kita bisa ditipu kan (kayak pas mimpi)? Jadi belom tentu apa yang kita rasain itu 'ada.' Tapi kalo fiksi, kita yang ngebayangin, karena fiksi itu hasil dari pemikiran. (BTW, kalo nonton ato baca, sebaiknya jangan cuma dibiarin masuk gitu aja, harus dikritik, dihajar, diprotes sampe ga bisa diprotes lagi. itu caranya mastiin kita gak 'makan' sampah) Jadi, dengan membayangkan sesuatu, kita membuktikan keberadaan diri kita yang berpikir. Banyak karya (fiksi!) yang membahas mimpi dan kemungkinan bahwa mimpi itu lebih nyata daripada yang dianggap sebagian besar orang. Misalnya, BONE karya Jeff Smith. Lagi, The Great Divorce karya C.S. Lewis.

Maksudnya, kalo kita bermimpi, berimajinasi, kita bisa sangat masuk dalam imajinasi dan mimpi itu sampe kerasa nyata banget. Dan kalo udah gitu, orang lain gak bisa lagi mencegah kita mimpi dan bilang kalo itu engga nyata.

Intinya, tolong, bagi orang-orang yang membaca ini, hargai kami, orang-orang yang masih mau bermimpi. Kayak lagunya si Lennon itu lah.

"The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf'"- kerupuk's version

Okay! Fiction time. This is a version of the old story about the boy who cried wolf. Read on. (My apologies to those who do not understand English)

Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a young shepherd. He goes with his flock everyday to the pasture, letting the sheep graze. One day, while he was herding his flock, he got bored.
'What can I do for fun today?' he thought.
'Say, I think I'll play a trick to the other villagers.' With a chuckle, he set off to the village.

'Wolf! Wolf!'
'What? A wolf? Where?!'
'At the field! I mean, the pasture! Please help me! Save my sheep!'
'Don't worry, laddie, we'll help ya! Come on, folks! To the pasture!'

Thus, the villagers all rushed to the pasture. Along the way there were 'Don't worry, boy's and 'We'll save your sheep's and 'I'm sure the wolf won't attack's and such. After a while they arrived at the pasture.

'Alright, where's the bloody wolf?'
'Come out here wolf! We ain't scared of ya!'
'Yea, thou hast threatened this young fellow, thy punishment shall be severe!' (That, I think, was the reverend)

All this time the shepherd hid behind the crowd, suppressing his laugh. After a few moments, though, his laughter can no longer be subdued.

'Ha ha! Got you all! Got you nice and good, I did!'

The villagers looked to each other, then shrugged at each other, and laughed. They all thought it was a nice joke. One of the older men patted the boy's head, saying he had not had such a joke for a long time.

Some weeks later, the boy felt bored again. He decided to play the same trick again. The villagers, thinking that he won't play the same trick twice, believed in his words. They went to the pasture again.

'Alright, where is it?'
'Yeah, where?'

The boy broke into a laugh again, explained the situation again, expecting the villagers to laugh with him again. They didn't.

'Now, boy, that wasn't very smart, what you did.'
'Yeah, we don't like it, we don't.'
'You wasted our time. Once, we tolerated it. We will not do so anymore.'

Then the villagers departed, leaving the boy alone with his flock.

Well, the boy was not that stupid. He did not play any trick on the villagers anymore.
Unfortunately, there actually WERE wolves near the pasture. (Not werewolves; that was not a typo)
One of them decided to go near the pasture. He saw the shepherd and his flock of sheep: lunch. Without hesitation, he attacked.
The boy panicked. He ran to the village.

'WOLF! WOLF!'

This time, the villagers did not respond.

'Little brat, time waster.'
'We won't be fooled anymore, thank you!'

Now, the classic version goes like that. No one believes him, his sheep got eaten, done. I, however, improvised a little bit.

So, no one believed the shepherd-boy, even though he was telling the truth.
Except for one boy about his age. He went with the villagers both times before, believing the shepherd. Now he still believes the shepherd. So they both went to rescue the sheep.

When they got there, well, the wolf had finished his meal. Only about 3 skinny sheep remain.

The shepherd lost his flock. But he gained a friend.


Well, that's that. A bit cheesy maybe. But hey, that's me. This is my first attempt at 'fanfic,' so....
(Moral: Trust people.)