Sunday, December 8, 2013

Ogres Have Layers. Like Onions and Cakes.

Allegiance is a strange thing.

Nowadays, in this cynical reality we live in, it is perhaps more common to think that allegiance, or loyalty, is a frail, fragile, and fickle thing. Switching sides as we deem profitable. Changing our opinions as soon as we find a problem with it. Betraying those we once cared deeply about, be they people or principles, at the merest whisper of a whim. That is, possibly, the facts of the world we inhabit.

But some things suggest to me otherwise.

Once, I attended Sunday service with my family. I cannot currently remember exactly what got me into willingly go to church then, but it does not really matter right now. What matters is what the pastor said during the sermon. This I also cannot completely recall (it was quite a while ago, this incident I am relating here), but he made a joke about people really not needing to bathe very often. Then I looked to my mother and flashed a triumphant grin that clearly said, "Aha!"

See, as a younger child, I used to try to avoid washing myself whenever I can. During the school holidays, once, I managed to not have a shower for 5 days. (That got me into quite a mess. And trouble in the form of the wrath of the father.) Now, I shower daily. Honest. Really. At least once a day. So I think it is safe to say that I am no longer that somewhat hydrophobic child who measures success by the thickness of the protective layer of grunge that accumulates on his skin.

However, despite being no longer able to justifiably call myself as a Lost Boy who has no use for soap, I found myself nearly automatically cheering as the pastor suggested that, maybe, showering is really not that important after all.

You see? Despite having no outward appearance of it, I still view myself, subconsciously perhaps, as that Lost Boy. I swore allegiance to them, once, long ago, before I even knew what the word 'allegiance' meant. And that loyalty was not easily scrubbed away. Even after joining society in the habit of washing myself daily, deep down I was, and still am, a Lost Boy.

And I think this allegiance thing is also present in other aspects of my - maybe our- existence.

I may have started going to church regularly lately - and it was good, in every sense of the word - but I still grin mischievously as I discover or decide, the way I did this morning, that I am not going to church this day. Underneath the coat of Christianity that I show to the world (at times), I still wear the shirt of agnosticism and apathy of religion that induces me to smile whenever I get the chance to criticize the religious folk.



But maybe, just maybe, beneath that shirt of irreligion still breathes a person who once, in his early days, swore allegiance to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.



Happy Sunday.